Blair pours water over Brown at the Labour Party conference!

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Northern Rock to Sponsor the London Olympics

Londoners jump for joy as pressure on their council tax is lightened with today's announcement from reinstated CEO Adam Applegarth.

Applegarth stated that the company needed to re-establish its identification and best way was to invest shareholders money in the biggest lost leader it can find. It is thought the donation could be as much as £100 million with the new loan from the Bank of England.

Boris Johnson was unavailable for comment but his newly appointed spokespersons made some comments.

Edwina Currie said, "Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella."

Lembit Opik added, "I think it is unjust for people to discriminate against rocks, north or south they are all the same."

Allah Sugar couldn't Adam and Eve it but said "any money is good money."

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Boris Johnson and Abi Titmuss to host holiday show

A new holiday program to appear on the Boring Broadcasting Company's prime time evening slot this autumn, will star Boris Johnson and Abi Titmuss as co-presenters.

The holiday show is not aimed at 'chavs' or other peasant types, the main focus will be on high end and expensive holidays abroad but Boris and Abi will make comparisons with traditional English holiday locations.

The first program will be a straight competition between Bognor and Bangalore. Boris will be going to Bognor as he has close associations with the gay folk of Bognor and gave them their motto 'Bugger Bognor' which seems to have stuck.

Meanwhile Abi will be banging in glorious Banglore, both will be wearing head cams and linked live to a dead studio audience and straight to a dedicated website, buggerbognor.dot

The shows producer Sophie Monk is excited with the new venture but is worried the show could get a little out of hand and be put on at a later time in the evening. She has also revealed Johnny Rotten and Kele Okereke will be doing the same for the US version and also performing a live duo.

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Death by Electrocution or Air Conditioned Tube

A new air conditioning system has been tested on deep mine shafts in South Africa. It is thought that this system will be ideal for the deep lines on the London Underground.

Bob Boer the principle engineer for the Rhodesian Mining Corporation said it took ten years to develop and get right, but was now ready for full time service.

Tube lines such as the Northern and Piccadilly can now be cooled. The system is not thought to be costly to buy, but installation will be difficult and some tube trains may need to be modernised.

The heat exchanger is large pools of chilled water in containers fitted to the tracks and roof and when the train passes by the water is splashed all over the train and in turn taking the heat from the carriages.

Rail experts have dismissed the system as the water would come into contact with the live rail and would most probably electrocute everyone in the carriage. Mr Boer has dismissed these claims as the system had been fully tested on South African miners and as long as you are wearing rubber boots it is totally safe.

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.