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Northern Rock to Sponsor the London Olympics

Londoners jump for joy as pressure on their council tax is lightened with today's announcement from reinstated CEO Adam Applegarth.

Applegarth stated that the company needed to re-establish its identification and best way was to invest shareholders money in the biggest lost leader it can find. It is thought the donation could be as much as £100 million with the new loan from the Bank of England.

Boris Johnson was unavailable for comment but his newly appointed spokespersons made some comments.

Edwina Currie said, "Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella."

Lembit Opik added, "I think it is unjust for people to discriminate against rocks, north or south they are all the same."

Allah Sugar couldn't Adam and Eve it but said "any money is good money."

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