Hurley Davidson announces new bikes for 2009 and 2010

Hurley Davidson, famed for its mopeds, is to step up a gear and produce a fully blown touring scooter for the 'modern man' . The 2009 tourer will feature an engine, wheels, and handlebars, and 2010 will see the introduction of the seat.

Future versions are likely to be with four wheels and an all weather cabin. Famous Harley riders including Elizabeth Taylor and Pamela Anderson, who rode the phallic 'purple passion' are eager to mount the new bikes and think the four wheel version might catch on.

Rival Sir Clive Sinclair has dismissed the new vehicles as a waste of time and will not enthuse the bike riding public as much as his revolutionary C5, which is due for re launch at Brighton Birdman Festival.

An idea insolvent motorcycle journalist working for Top Gear could not find adjectives, pronouns or adverbs to comment due to thought drought.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Ford are to stop making rusty transit vans

Today Ford announced it will no longer be making Ford Transits (Tranny) in its Southampton factory.

The Transit famous for its inbuilt rust, poor paint jobs and smelly engines with no power has been a favourite of the British 'brickie' and pub bands for many years. The 'tranny' is going to be produced now in another country by child labour.

Transvestites and Tranny fans across the world are dismayed, Brian Viglione said "Its and end of an era, I have had many a good time in the back of a tranny"

The transit owners group of Scunthorpe and the Ford Transit Forum are rumoured to be planning a motorway protest in early August. They plan to drive at top speed down the M1 for 2 hours. White van man groups are thought to be joining in the protest if they can get their sat navs to point them in the right direction. Police and motoring organisations have advised against this tactic, Dave a traffic cop for Bedfordshire gave a stark warning "Trannies driving at full speed (50 mph) are still to slow for today's motorways and are dangerous"

Ford workers union 'Unite' have gone into hiding but Bob Crow said on their behalf "The only option is to strike"

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Stats show teen drinking reduces after the age of 20; Politician Disagrees

A recent report by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in Birmingham has uncovered that the number of teen drinkers reduced by 100% when they reached their twenties. Vice President elect of AA, Charles Kennedy said this was a milestone in getting the young away from alcohol, but did warn once a pickle always a pickle.

Popular teen magazine 'Teens' did a similar survey but had different results from the seven to twelve year olds they surveyed. The results were not available for publication as the agony aunt ex schools minister Mr Twigg, who carried out the research is not at work due to a hangover.

The temporary minister for beer, John Prescott said while thumping a bystander, "Most problems can be addressed by drinking vast amounts of beer and then throwing up."

He went on to say it was typical "media hype" saying, "Margret Thatcher famously became the first MP to be accused of being sober while at the House of Commons dispatch box. Goliath is a celebrity binge drinker, Herbert Asquith, was known for swaying precariously on his knees in the House of Commons and the famous Annie's Bar was named after Catholic MP Ann Widdecombe. "

Mr Prescott was then escorted from the bar.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.