Gingers have more energy

New research from the La Salle University in Bangladesh, by Louis de Larreviere claims it can prove ginger headed people have more energy than any other coloured hair type.

Real redheaded people have the advantage as their hair can conduct solar energy faster than any others as it has less resistance. The principle of Fermats, 'least time' is the idea that the path taken between two points by a ray of light is the path that can be traversed in the least time. Phaeomelanin has been identified as main factor as it is less likely to break down under extreme sunlight.

Associated research also claims that blonds who have a mixture of phaeomelanin and eumelanin have the most resistance due to the very dense matter in their hair.

Famous reds have not fully agreed with the research.

Ruby Wax said, "Its true, I have had more work and I just can not shut up."

Britney Spears who went red for the 2004 video 'Toxic' believed her carer was OK all the time she was red and started to go downhill went she went blonde.

Kay Burley displayed lots of energy and punched the spoof reporter on the nose.

Pierre de Fermat wondered if the formula x^n + y^n >= z^n could be solved. Fermat's Last Theorem defeated many young researchers and scientists alike, but did not confuse Louis de Larreviere.

Other famous redheads, Geri Halliwell, Chris Evans, Charles Kennedy, Anne Robinson and Charlie Dimmock where not to drunk to comment.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Stats show teen drinking reduces after the age of 20; Politician Disagrees

A recent report by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in Birmingham has uncovered that the number of teen drinkers reduced by 100% when they reached their twenties. Vice President elect of AA, Charles Kennedy said this was a milestone in getting the young away from alcohol, but did warn once a pickle always a pickle.

Popular teen magazine 'Teens' did a similar survey but had different results from the seven to twelve year olds they surveyed. The results were not available for publication as the agony aunt ex schools minister Mr Twigg, who carried out the research is not at work due to a hangover.

The temporary minister for beer, John Prescott said while thumping a bystander, "Most problems can be addressed by drinking vast amounts of beer and then throwing up."

He went on to say it was typical "media hype" saying, "Margret Thatcher famously became the first MP to be accused of being sober while at the House of Commons dispatch box. Goliath is a celebrity binge drinker, Herbert Asquith, was known for swaying precariously on his knees in the House of Commons and the famous Annie's Bar was named after Catholic MP Ann Widdecombe. "

Mr Prescott was then escorted from the bar.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.