Free Legally Blonde tickets not available

The much hyped free ticket give away for the new musical of Legally Blonde has been shelved as nobody thought to do it.

Bailey Hanks said there will not be any winners of this none competition, but tickets will be available soon from ticket sellers on platform 1.

The film has a extremist fan base and has been very popular with the legal profession. A spokesman for the Law Society issued a statement to waiting taxi drivers. The statement, full of legal jargon was not understood and thrown in the bin. However a solicitor said "Most people in the legal profession cannot afford to go to shows like this and we were waiting for the free tickets, it now looks as if we will miss the opening night, unless we can issue an injunction and delay the show"

The Strand Theatre has denied being involved in the fiasco and said the show will go on for one month followed by the first performance of the 'Hedi Fleiss' play, the story of how she made people rise to fame.


.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Hurley Davidson announces new bikes for 2009 and 2010

Hurley Davidson, famed for its mopeds, is to step up a gear and produce a fully blown touring scooter for the 'modern man' . The 2009 tourer will feature an engine, wheels, and handlebars, and 2010 will see the introduction of the seat.

Future versions are likely to be with four wheels and an all weather cabin. Famous Harley riders including Elizabeth Taylor and Pamela Anderson, who rode the phallic 'purple passion' are eager to mount the new bikes and think the four wheel version might catch on.

Rival Sir Clive Sinclair has dismissed the new vehicles as a waste of time and will not enthuse the bike riding public as much as his revolutionary C5, which is due for re launch at Brighton Birdman Festival.

An idea insolvent motorcycle journalist working for Top Gear could not find adjectives, pronouns or adverbs to comment due to thought drought.

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Pussy cat dolls are banned from shops

All dolls made in China by Xiangjuan Big Dongguan (Big Donga) are subject of a product recall due to over inflated chests and excess collagen.

Scientist have said this is potentially very dangerous as the bosoms can explode without warning, spraying a silicon substance over anyone within 5 metres and when mixed with bovine collagen, it can produce fat arses if swallowed.

Trading standards officers are finding it hard going as they are investigating all the dolls imported into the UK, “its only the ones made by Big Donga” said Cuthbert from Waltham, “you have to give them a real hard squeeze, it really hard on the, um fingers” he went on to say.

Pussy fans are disappointed as they have been waiting all year for their appearance and now are feeling very deflated at the news.


.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.