Celebrity makeover girls sacked

The popular presenters of the BBC television series, What Not to Wear, Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine have been sacked and replaced by Ruth Kelly and Ann Widdecombe

Fashion gurus have said it been a long time coming as the pair had lost all sense of reality a long time ago. Despite the criticism, Trinny and Susannah have said they will still be advising the rich and famous on fashion, Victoria Beckham and Nora Batty to name a few.

Ruth and Anne said they will jump with joy, when they come down a few sizes, to celebrate their new jobs. They went on to say the auditions were very tough as there were a lot of others applying for the position.

Among the losers was a bitter Wendy Alexander she said "Its always the bimbos with no brains that win these competitions". Hazel Blears who came in third, was slightly more diplomatic with her response "Ann and Ruth have had so many rejections in the past, it was time they won something"

The new show will be broadcast on Christmas Day 2008 immediately after the Queens speech. Applications for a makeover should be sent as soon as possible as there are no places left.


.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Dr. X's Free Associations: Photo of Palin with Elk

Dr. X's Free Associations: Photo of Palin with Elk

"And I will not post the alleged nude photo of Palin, no matter how many people come here looking for it" - Dr X

Link to not so nude photos of Palin
.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Boris Johnson is to bring back the stocks, pillory and the pranger

In an unprecedented move the Mayor of London has acquired a number of devices used by Max Mussel and the wife of a former MI5 officer.

The cruel and unusual punishment devices are to be used as a deterrent to fare dodgers on the London underground. Boris was at pains to state that they would also be used on a 2 strikes and you are out basis.

The Mayor was asked if he would consider bring back the birch for some offences replied that the best tree for London was the Oak

PR guru Bob Crow replied it was against health and safety law and something should be banned and would be a good idea if someone went on strike.

Caroline Lucas has condemned the idea and said the government should be the servant and not the master and could she be first.

The first installation on the 1st of June 2008, will be at the Waterloo and City line, where its known that rich city bankers are the worst offenders.

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Stats show teen drinking reduces after the age of 20; Politician Disagrees

A recent report by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in Birmingham has uncovered that the number of teen drinkers reduced by 100% when they reached their twenties. Vice President elect of AA, Charles Kennedy said this was a milestone in getting the young away from alcohol, but did warn once a pickle always a pickle.

Popular teen magazine 'Teens' did a similar survey but had different results from the seven to twelve year olds they surveyed. The results were not available for publication as the agony aunt ex schools minister Mr Twigg, who carried out the research is not at work due to a hangover.

The temporary minister for beer, John Prescott said while thumping a bystander, "Most problems can be addressed by drinking vast amounts of beer and then throwing up."

He went on to say it was typical "media hype" saying, "Margret Thatcher famously became the first MP to be accused of being sober while at the House of Commons dispatch box. Goliath is a celebrity binge drinker, Herbert Asquith, was known for swaying precariously on his knees in the House of Commons and the famous Annie's Bar was named after Catholic MP Ann Widdecombe. "

Mr Prescott was then escorted from the bar.

.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.