Pussy cat dolls are banned from shops

All dolls made in China by Xiangjuan Big Dongguan (Big Donga) are subject of a product recall due to over inflated chests and excess collagen.

Scientist have said this is potentially very dangerous as the bosoms can explode without warning, spraying a silicon substance over anyone within 5 metres and when mixed with bovine collagen, it can produce fat arses if swallowed.

Trading standards officers are finding it hard going as they are investigating all the dolls imported into the UK, “its only the ones made by Big Donga” said Cuthbert from Waltham, “you have to give them a real hard squeeze, it really hard on the, um fingers” he went on to say.

Pussy fans are disappointed as they have been waiting all year for their appearance and now are feeling very deflated at the news.


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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Freedom of speech to be withdrawn

The centuries old right to freedom of speech is to be withdrawn by the Labour Government in a new amendment added to the Terrorism Act 2006 yesterday. It had previously gone unnoticed as no one was allowed to talk about it.

It has been often debated, inside and outside courts on how far and to what extent people have free speech. Today it has been made clear - not an iota.

Politicians and civil servants will be exempt, but it does not include the Royal family or members of the household. Some newspapers will be free from restrictions, but this depends on donations they make to the Labour party and to how far and to what extent they will support Gordon Brown.

The European Parliament will be holding an emergency meeting as this is seen to contravene the Human Rights Act. It is likely there will be extensive penalties if it goes to extra time in Brussels. Leaked information from the Office of We Love Gordon indicates there could be a compromise where there will be a charge for speech, paid speech could be introduced by end of year.

Home Office officials refused to say anything but did hand out a blank statement, which said nothing.


All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.