Gingers have more energy

New research from the La Salle University in Bangladesh, by Louis de Larreviere claims it can prove ginger headed people have more energy than any other coloured hair type.

Real redheaded people have the advantage as their hair can conduct solar energy faster than any others as it has less resistance. The principle of Fermats, 'least time' is the idea that the path taken between two points by a ray of light is the path that can be traversed in the least time. Phaeomelanin has been identified as main factor as it is less likely to break down under extreme sunlight.

Associated research also claims that blonds who have a mixture of phaeomelanin and eumelanin have the most resistance due to the very dense matter in their hair.

Famous reds have not fully agreed with the research.

Ruby Wax said, "Its true, I have had more work and I just can not shut up."

Britney Spears who went red for the 2004 video 'Toxic' believed her carer was OK all the time she was red and started to go downhill went she went blonde.

Kay Burley displayed lots of energy and punched the spoof reporter on the nose.

Pierre de Fermat wondered if the formula x^n + y^n >= z^n could be solved. Fermat's Last Theorem defeated many young researchers and scientists alike, but did not confuse Louis de Larreviere.

Other famous redheads, Geri Halliwell, Chris Evans, Charles Kennedy, Anne Robinson and Charlie Dimmock where not to drunk to comment.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Naomi Campbell in screaming fit

Scots lass, Miss Campbell went into an uncontrollable rage today after insulting herself in front of millions.

Nutty Naomi shouted to Kay Burley that she was not in a rage, just reacting to the red headed and black eyed reporters questions. The reporter asked further questions on BA and racism, which made the once famous supermodel give a manic look in the direction of Burley and said "look lady, when you have 2 black eyes, we will talk"

Minders then hustled the dark destroyer into a waiting limousine. Campbell's spokesperson Kirsty Wigglesworth handed out a brief statement, which referred mainly to Vincent Van Gough, the Berkshire Hunt and the re-release of Naomi's hit single Love and Tantrums from her latest album, I used to be good looking, now I'm a useless crispy duck.

Kay Burley is due to interview Sarah Palin about her latest Facebook entry and her photo album of her in compromising positions in the Mayors office.

All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.