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Yulia Tymoshenko and Boris Johnson practice Bagism

Yulia and Boris will mimic John Lennon and Yoko Ohno (not again) in a live "Bed-in" followed by a demonstration on Bagism to raise money for Boris's new campaign to become leader of the Conservative Party.

It has come as no surprise to seven of BJ's admirers that he has declared his intentions. BJ intends to stay with most Tory policies but with a bit more emphasis on reducing the tax on the rich.

His most surprising manifesto suggestion is to remove all troops from Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan and Korea and bring them home to wage war on France.

BJ said France is closer and would cost less to send troops across the channel, they could also utilise the bendy buses for transport as it would not matter if they were lost in the conflict.

Comedy duo and co leaders of the Fascist Labour Only Party (FLOP) Dave and Ed Miliband laughed at the proposals and dismissed them, although pure genius, it would never work as the channel tunnel was never built for bendy buses.

BJ's aid and spokesperson Hillary Clinton said there will be a news conference later tonight.

All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

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