The Confederation of British Industry (CBI) have shown their dismay at the new European Directive, on safety in the workplace. The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) have welcomed the new directives and will be looking forward to when they will turned into English law as it will give them new powers to stop and search.
Judith (you can't) Hackett (HSE) said "it's been a long time coming but now we can stop offenders and they can be searched for dangerous items"
When asked to explain dangerous items by a local news reporter, who also pointed out that the police, were also doing SUS. Judy replied;
"When we outlawed conker playing a few years ago, the game still carried on by some secret sects, the Boy Scouts and a number of wayward children who had access to conker trees where we had not cut them down. We knew there were numerous conker championships happening, but could do little to stop them"
It is expected that HSE officers will patrol and search children in known hotspots. The new law does not stop at conkers. Other dangerous items would include marbles, Pooh sticks, paper darts, elastic bands, hula hoops, skipping ropes and homemade BB guns.
ROSPA and other safety experts are pleased with the initial response from the HSE, but have stressed they have not gone far enough with the new laws and clarification on banning office parties needs to be in the first amendments.
Baroness Gibson of Market Rasen, OBE President of ROSPA indicated it would be a lot easier for everyone if we just banned everything.
The last reading of the new directive was yesterday and was passed today.
All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.