Budget airlines to charge for emergency services

Low cost airlines are cutting costs to counter rising fuel prices. The latest initiative is to charge for services which have been traditionally free.

Sick bags have always been free, but no longer, if you want one it will cost £1. if you use it and want it disposed, it will cost a further £1. And airlines will not be allowing passengers to use any unapproved paper bags. The alternative is not to just throw up over the seat in front; however, there will be a clean up cost of £100.

The use of the emergency oxygen will be free for the first gasp, after that there will be a £45 fee per mouthful of air. Life jackets will be available in 2 versions, self inflating at £30 and rubber rings coming in at a bargain price of £1.50. The use of the escape chutes will be included in the airfare.

Going to the toilet will no longer cost a penny but increase to a whooping £7.50 plus 10 pence per toilet roll square.

British Airline Pilots' Association (BALPA), compared the budget airlines proposals to the way Ptrans-Pterodactyl Airlines operated. They are furious over proposals to reduce air and cabin crew. Pilots will be expected to operate like driver / conductor on bendy buses.

Passenger groups have not welcomed the proposals and said they are used to being treated like dirt by the airlines but this is going over the top.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

New tax on Social Networking Users

Big brother is already here, our every movement is followed by countless cameras. GPS and other tracking devices can record our travels. The latest can capture conversations from thousands of chatrooms and bulletin boards, and it all comes at a cost.

Where there is a cost to government then there has to be a tax opportunity. The latest stealth tax will be on the use of forums, bloggs and social networking sites. Not on the ISP or the webhosts but the users.

Each registered user is expected to pay a yearly tax, it is thought to be around £1. If you consider that of the 100 million accounts on social network websites, 10 million are UK users.

7 million from the UK on Facebook, 6 million using StumbleUpon, and its reported 50 million blogs have been created. The cost is already £163 million. Now consider all the others, countless forums. The total revenue is likely to be in excess of £200 million, no wonder the treasury is taking it seriously.

The little darlings at the treasury have been brown nosing it with the association of web hosts, as they are expected to collect the new tax. Web hosts have indicated it will cost £2 plus VAT in administration charges to collect the tax from the users.

The final reading of the bill will be on Monday 19th August.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.