Iceland invades Zimbabwe

In a secret and unprecedented move by the Republic of Iceland, an invasion has taken place on Zimbabwe. This is the first war the Icelanders have been in since the 'Cod War'.

Prime Minister, Geir H. Haarde who is also known as Gerry Hard said "The low price of ice, reduced availability of icebergs through global warming and the Zimbabwean Government not paying its bills for ice delivered in 2007, has forced us into this position"

The Icelandic Coast Guard carrying units of the Víkingasveitin armed with harpoons and dry ice have laid siege to the House of Assembly in Harare. There has been no direct reports of the conflict as most of the worlds press and media are banned from Zimbabwe, apart from 'Sky News Reporters' who have reported no incidents as most have been down the pub.

Björk Guðmundsdóttir the opposition leader and leader for the, Vikings Are Nice Party (VANP) said "It was not necessary to invade, we could have just sent them some of my albums"

President Mugabe was unavailable for comment although close aid Paris Hilton said "Everything is under control"

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Dolphins assassinated by French frogmen

Hommes-grenouilles of the Marine Nationale (French Navy) have killed at least 26 dolphins they thought were defence forces of the British Navy. The murderous act was done in preparation for the invasion of Cornwall and its tin mines.

A spokesman for the French Navy, Vice-amiral d'escadre, Henri Désiré Landru denied all the allegations and would not comment further until his lawyer was present.

The main material for making French cars is tin as it is (was) easily stolen from Cornwall. Industry insiders have said the French automobile makers, Citroen and Renault, are short of tin and are now taking desperate measures to replenish their stockpiles, but the new British defences have been making it difficult for them.



According to defence documents found on the Piccadilly line last night, the dolphins had been trained to defend the Cornish coast line as they were more expendable and cheaper than ships.

The MOD, RSPCA and Ruth Kelly are to make a joint statement later today

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.