The Lone Voice: Gordon Brown - Downfall.

The Lone Voice: Gordon Brown - Downfall.


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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Lone Worker

The Labour party are in disarray today as it has lost the Prime Minister, although Gordon Brown is not in the real sense a true lone worker, he does have to work on his own as he has no friends and by default a very lonely worker.

A spokesman for 10 Downing Street has said the PM was on holiday in Southend, Jacqui Smith said it was all under control and will hold another public enquiry, although David Milliband has contacted the HSE for further advice on lone workers.

The Chinese government have denied he is in Beijing on a jolly.

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Flesh Gordon meets Darling

All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Church Army declares war on Salvation Army

A centuries old bitter feud has broken out in Eastcheap, London.

Both armies have accused each other of "dragging the church into the gutter".

Hostilities started this morning after evening song, where insults were exchanged on the mission steps, activists from the Salvation Army started to throw full verse into the mêlée, antagonising the antagonists to start hurling full blown chants.

Police arrived in full riot gear and ear defenders but could do little to stop the now fully voiced choirs of both armies, they did however bring in the Jesus Army to mediate.

The hymns soon turned into dirges as the 'talks' broke down and the Jesus Army joined in the good fight with gay abandon.

Local resident and street urchin Tommy Booth-Carlile said " Cor luv a duck, they've been arguing over the turf here for years, I hope they don't forget my soup tonight"

Police have now closed of the East End of London and Kensington and have set up road blocks to prevent Quakers joining in the free for all. Police sources have also warned beggars and other low life not to drink the soup as Quakers have been known to throw oats into the broth.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Police raid kitchen shop and seize hundreds of knifes

Police today raided silversmiths, cutlers, flatware and kitchen ware shops through out the capitol and were surprised by the number of knifes found on the premises.

Deputy, stand in, might get promoted assistant patrolman Jones said "It was surprising the types of knifes we found, some were designed for cutting meat" he went on to say that commercial kitchens were the next target as there had been reports of some particularly big knifes seen.

Jacqui Smith made a short statement "We are weak on crime and even weaker on the causes of crime" her statement went on to say all knifes will be withdrawn from use in England.

She also gave a hint on other measures they will be putting in place:

• Extending ID cards to all citizens over 5 years of age
  
• Curfews in inner city areas
  
• Issue of stab proof vests to all civil servants

Smithy dismissed opposition leaders requests for more police enforcement and bigger prisons as unrealistic as the country was nearly bankrupt.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.