Tempest Storm to be guest star in Thunderbirds Movie

Tempest Storm to be guest star in Thunderbirds Movie

The next Thunderbirds movie, which is being filmed on location at the film festival in Brooklyn and the Bearing Straits bridge. Tempest will be starring with John Wayland, Rachel Ward and Cheryl Ladd  who tops the Hollywood cast for the real world production in their flagship studios in Bolton.         

Chloe Dao will be redesigning the Thunder-thighs outfits and Ray Charles and Puff Adder will put the soundtrack together.

Tempest, an 80 year old working  American women stripper who is currently working the ‘Strip’ and supporting Bon Jovi concert in Central Park said to waiting reporters with a twinkle in the eye “It beats working young man”

Denton Cooley her aid and personal physician then ushered Tempest Storm into a waiting limo, driven by Herb Jeffries who drove of at speed.

The film is due to be launched this summer at the Franklin County Fair, Reston Festival and the McCoy Stadium.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Tour de France cancelled

Tour de France cancelled

The Tour de France is to be stopped a week early. Tour officials have said in an emergency statement today of a severe shortage of drugs for the cyclists this year and stocks are running dry.

Stocks of 19-norandrosterone, EPO and a number of various steroids are not available in Europe or USA, a spokesman for the ‘back street laboratories inc’ said they were at full stretch but the Olympics was the main customer this year (and more profitable).

Team bosses have said sildenafil citrate is still available, but causes more problems as most of the cyclists are very frisky and get no sleep.  Loyal supporters have come out in support of the cyclists and have promised to line the boulevards with drug feeding zones.

The World Doping Agency (WADA) warned against such practice and told the racers not to be so greedy as they have had their share over the years.

It is expected the tour will resume next year in Zimbabwe after the Rugby 7s World Cup in Harare.
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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Go Nude to Toughen Up

Go Nude to Toughen Up.

Ministers in DEFRA have supported Jake Ulrichs comments on adapting to climate change and rising costs of energy, although they have added more detail.

MP’s Hillary (Big) Benn and Joan (Razor) Ruddock made a joint statement at Sussex University.

“The working classes of Great Britain have been pampered over the past century and have become soft and cannot cope with a few hardships anymore”

They went on to attack the middle class by accusing them of living in isolation from reality and using vast amounts of energy in the summer to keep cool with air conditioning and in the winter using more precious resources to keep warm.

Their advice, which is supported by Al Gore is simple, go nude. By going nude the body will start to acclimatise  and require less energy and clothing to heat or cool. The advice will be supported by a new Act of Parliament,

Friends of the Mud and the Naturism Society have welcomed the new initiative and will hold an official launch at the Mile High music festival where they will all strip.

The Mary Whitehouse appreciation society will be opposing the new Act and feminist groups have stated they will be keeping their clothes on.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Lone Worker

The Labour party are in disarray today as it has lost the Prime Minister, although Gordon Brown is not in the real sense a true lone worker, he does have to work on his own as he has no friends and by default a very lonely worker.

A spokesman for 10 Downing Street has said the PM was on holiday in Southend, Jacqui Smith said it was all under control and will hold another public enquiry, although David Milliband has contacted the HSE for further advice on lone workers.

The Chinese government have denied he is in Beijing on a jolly.

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Flesh Gordon meets Darling

All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Free Legally Blonde tickets not available

The much hyped free ticket give away for the new musical of Legally Blonde has been shelved as nobody thought to do it.

Bailey Hanks said there will not be any winners of this none competition, but tickets will be available soon from ticket sellers on platform 1.

The film has a extremist fan base and has been very popular with the legal profession. A spokesman for the Law Society issued a statement to waiting taxi drivers. The statement, full of legal jargon was not understood and thrown in the bin. However a solicitor said "Most people in the legal profession cannot afford to go to shows like this and we were waiting for the free tickets, it now looks as if we will miss the opening night, unless we can issue an injunction and delay the show"

The Strand Theatre has denied being involved in the fiasco and said the show will go on for one month followed by the first performance of the 'Hedi Fleiss' play, the story of how she made people rise to fame.


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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

BBC in hands of the Official Receivers

The Boring Broadcasting Company has had to admit defeat as it no longer had the resources to pay any of its staff or fund any further outings or lunches for its reporting staff.

The BBC have been pleading poverty for years and has asked the Government to rip of licence-fee payers to fund its bad management and expensive expense fund.

The expense bill is high and is estimated to be around 75% of its total income, leaving 20% for wages and 5% for new programming and reality shows.

The Official Receiver has told creditors, including Ascot Races, Wimbledon and Around Britain power boat race organisers, that there is no money left in the pot.

Carol Kirkwood was disappointed she will no longer be given champagne breakfasts at Ascot and Wimbledon and wondered if she will get a final day out at the boat race. Declan Curry, another boat race fan who toured the whole of Britain while following the power boat race was resigned to the fact he would have to stay in the studio from now on. Mike Bushell was unavailable for comment as he was out playing rounder's in Peru at the fee payers expense.

Dimwits Sian Williams and Bill Turnbull were available for comment but refused to say anything until the Autocue was turned back on.

Virgins, Richard Branston Pickle is said to be interested in making an offer, only if it made all its staff redundant.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.