2012 Marathon Winner

Paul Badcliffe wins the Olympic Marathon

Marathon world record holder and supper blubber Paul Badcliffe has won the marathon at the 2012 London Olympics. Our Paul decided to run the race early to avoid the scientific runners and other competition who might be better than herself.

Paul has campaigned tirelessly against cheats and believes those who take short cuts on the marathon should be heavily penalised. Her campaign does not stop at people who run shorter routes, she has called for more climate control for runners, one suggestion is to get assistants to run alongside the Olympians with portable air conditioning.

Supporters of the ‘League for Cheats’ have dismissed Paul’s ranting, but have applauded her initiative to run the race early and have quoted their motto “Win at any cost”

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Northern Rock to Sponsor the London Olympics

Londoners jump for joy as pressure on their council tax is lightened with today's announcement from reinstated CEO Adam Applegarth.

Applegarth stated that the company needed to re-establish its identification and best way was to invest shareholders money in the biggest lost leader it can find. It is thought the donation could be as much as £100 million with the new loan from the Bank of England.

Boris Johnson was unavailable for comment but his newly appointed spokespersons made some comments.

Edwina Currie said, "Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella."

Lembit Opik added, "I think it is unjust for people to discriminate against rocks, north or south they are all the same."

Allah Sugar couldn't Adam and Eve it but said "any money is good money."

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.