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Alternative athletics games to have no drug restrictions

Bollywood director and pharmacist Fatima Batool O'Reilly a multi millionaire and life long fan of athletics is to hold a trial games with no restrictions on drug use in Balochistan.

International athletic associations and federations have condemned the unprecedented move as dangerous and pointless. The Olympic committee have stated that any athlete performing in these games will be banned for life. Lawyers are thought to be preparing an injunction to stop the games, however it will be difficult to enforce as the Mujahideen have control of this area.

The games main sponsor will be the Poppy Growers Foundation of Afghanistan (PGFA) and the quickly growing pharmaceutical company 'easydrug' based in Mohenjo-daro. It is also reported by an unconfirmed source that Fatima is a major shareholder.

PR spokesman for the druggy games has informed waiting sports journalists that this is what fans want, "Athletes performing better than their best and going faster, longer and a lot higher than before" tickets will go on sell later this year and rumours of invites going to all previous drug cheats have not been confirmed, although Dwain Chambers has signed up for evening classes in Urdu at Hackney college.

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