Tata motors to buy Ferrari and Skoda

There are new additions to Tata's stable, with "cavallino rampante" taking pole position.

The makers of the Nano who have entered into agreement to buy Jaguar Land Rover have indicated there will be some changes to the numerous models and makes available when they acquire Ferrari and Skoda.

The famous shapes of Ferrari will stay but the engines will be replaced by the fuel efficient aluminium, 623cc two cylinder petrol engine. Land Rover will get a similar transformation but with a larger (to be developed) 900cc, three cylinder diesel engine.

Jaguar will loss all of its original models but there will be a new Jag pickup. All brands will be renamed using Tata as the prefix with the exception of Skoda who's name will disappear altogether.

The tea lady who writes the scripts for BBC Top Gear said "it's a sad day for Skoda" - ta ta

Victoria "Vicki" Butler-Henderson also expressed her sadness at the loss of some famous names, but did say there was some nice ta ta's out there.

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Funny car driver laughs his head of

Funny car driver Elmer JJ Chickenshack Junior, today lost his head after a bout of somatisation. The bizarre accident happened just before Elmer was to get in his competition yellow, Honda powered dragster.

Witness who saw the myspace favourite just before the bout of really funny hysterics said he looked happy and was full of joy.

Alli Zoloft and overweight depressive was upset because he thought he might start laughing too and was about to complain when Elmer's head started to rotate at the neck, the laughter got louder and louder the head accelerated faster than his funny car. Then in a cruel twist of fate, the head dropped of.

Yaz Cymbalta from Misery, Missouri the duty paramedic, tried in vain to put Chickenshack back together again but sadly failed.

Fans of the star racing driver are to attend an all night vigil at Starbucks and moving on to Pizza Hut for breakfast.

Race organisers will be holding a special trophy race in honour of Elmer next week called the 'Chickenshack Bipolar'

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All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated. Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.